Be Gentle
by magicsmith
Summary: One shot. While staying in Urahara's house, Renji is subjected to some unnatural demands from the shopkeeper. Complete.


_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**Be Gentle**

"It's time Renji. Come with me," Urahara ordered.

Renji sighed and turned over in the bed. "Can't we do it here? I'm comfortable."

"No. Get up and come with me, now. I thought you were a good vice-captain who always obeyed his captain's orders," Urahara said.

"You're not my captain," Renji pointed out.

"I outrank you."

"No you don't. You're not a captain anymore. You're an ex-captain. Now you are just a shopkeeper that sells stuff to shinigami and perverts."

"So which are you?" Urahara asked, quickly.

"I'm a shinigami, pervert," Renji replied while glaring at the man standing near the doorway.

"I always thought you were a...."

"I meant you're a pervert. You'll use any excuse, won't you, to try and bring me down to your level. Okay, I'm coming," Renji reluctantly got out of bed. "Where this time," he asked disgustedly, picking up his clothes.

"Don't bother to dress. You'll just have to strip again. My room today," Urahara replied. "Follow me."

He led the way down the hallway.

"Why do you have to do this to me every day?" Renji grumbled, dropping his clothes before following. "It hurts and I don't enjoy it. Can't you let me have a day off? Or at least be gentle. You made me bleed last time. I'm still bruised."

"You are a guest in my house. You eat my food, you sleep under my roof. If you thought about it, this is only a very easy way for you to show your gratitude," Urahara explained the boredom evident in his voice.

"Gratitude? This is more than gratitude. You're using me," Renji complained.

"We're using each other," Urahara said stopping at his door and opening it, ushering Renji through first

Yoruichi was sitting on the bed, watching the doorway expectantly.

Renji turned to Urahara enraged. "What's she doing here?" he demanded angrily.

"She wants to watch. She may even participate, if you don't mind," was the only explanation given. The 'if you don't mind' sounded like Urahara didn't care if Renji protested.

"I do mind. It's bad enough you do this, but another person! You've got to be jerking my chain," Renji almost yelled.

"Nice body," Yoruichi observed to Urahara as he eyes raked over Renji's form.

"I am here, you know," Renji sounded offended but he flexed the muscles in his chest involuntarily.

"Okay, you have a nice body, or at least the gigai has a nice body," Yoruichi said to Renji.

"Could you leave?" Renji asked the woman hopefully.

"I like to watch," was the smiling reply.

"We'll start now. Lay down on the bed Renji. On your back this time. I want to try something different," Urahara ordered as he busied himself.

"You always want to try something different," Renji complained. "It always hurts. You always enjoy it and I always feel humiliated afterward. I can't wait to get back to Seireitei."

"Now let me arrange you," Urahara said, moving Renji's body into the position that suited him best.

"Enough with the touching," Renji sounded uncomfortable. "Just get it over with."

"Shut up and stay still," Urahara said. "I just need to jab this into you."

"That's what you say every time," Renji retorted.

"Can I help?" Yoruichi asked Urahara, ignoring Renji again.

"Hold him down. He tends to fight back," Urahara requested as he smiled lazily at his former commander.

Yoruichi firmly held Renji down by the shoulders. He struggled for a short time, but soon gave up.

"It'll soon be over," she assured Renji.

"Not soon enough," Renji replied. "If you took your shirt off, it might distract me," he said his eyes firmly fixed on Yoruichi's chest.

"Not likely," Yoruichi said baring her teeth at him.

"Ow," howled Renji as Urahara began. "Damn. It hurts more today. Can you at least finish quickly? I thought you were going to be gentle."

"I'll try to be fast," Urahara said jabbing Renji again, harder.

"If you don't stop now, I swear I'll kill you," Renji yelled. "You bloody pervert."

Urahara was grinning as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. He speedily finished what he was doing.

"Okay, Yoruichi. You can let him go. I've extracted the samples I need." Urahara said.

Renji got up rubbing his arm. "Every day. You take bloody samples from the same arm every day. Why?"

"You're in a prototype gigai. I've told you. I need to test how the prototype is working out. I test the samples and work out if I need to make any changes," Urahara explained again.

"I'm sick of it. That's the last time you do this to me. Get another guinea pig," Renji said stalking out of the room.

"Are you really testing a new prototype, Kisuke?" Yoruichi asked.

"No," smiled Urahara, "but don't tell him that. I am, as he put it, just "jerking his chain".

* * *

_Author's note:_

Okay. My warped sense of humour got the better of me. I can't help it. I know I should be updating other stories, but I wanted a bit of fun.

I hope it amused.

Review if you wish.


End file.
